More About Dave

Joe and Dave in VEGAS Baby!

Producers are the people who put together the figures on the "above the line" costs. They are also responsible for holding the line on the "below the line" expenses. So far Dave has done a great job above and below the line (pretty easy when you don't have a budget). Now Dave is into blogging. Did you ever know a blogger? He does stuff like top ten things now (see below). Anything he thinks people will read. So, do me a favor and read what Dave has to say below and then go take the survey. I put a question or two in about Dave. It's long I know, but I think we should talk Dave into quitting his job and starve as a writer. So, if you're up for putting Dave out on the street let him know what you think. And Dave does spend a lot of time in Vegas these days (too much!) and he doesn't even gamble. He did come run a camera opening night, that was nice. Good job Dave. Now go out and find some money for us so you can do more above and below the line. That's Dave and Joe at Slots of Fun for the ROBF party at NAB. Don't ask.

And Dave has a top TEN list....woo hoo

Dave's Top TEN I'll say this about this years crop of movies....I either loved 'em this year, or I loathed them. My Top 10 list is full of 7's, 8's, and 9's on the good side, and lots of 2's and 3's scraping the bottom of the barrell in my worst of category. I saw 55 movies as of December 31st 10) A tie between Wedding Crashers and The 40 Year Old Virgin. It's my list, damnit, and I'll combine 2 movies if I want to. Most of the really good movies this past year were either dramas or thrillers. Comedies rarely make the cut in these so called "best of" lists. A good comedy is one that holds up upon repeat viewings ala Austin Powers, Napoleon Dynamite, and Animal House. Raunchy, stupid, comedies like Wedding Crashers and 40 Year Old Virgin should have no social redeeming value whatsoever. Just make me laugh and please don't resort to dick and fart jokes, please. Both of these movies made me laugh, and laugh hard. I actually gave both of these movies a 7 on a 10 scale only because the filmakers still felt the need to tack on "happy endings". But if you forgive them for dumbing down to the masses, and play them as a double feature, you could do a lot worse than what was perceived as a comedy in the year 2005. I don't know about you, but we need more comedies. Who the hell wants to watch Munich again? 9) Elizabethtown. I know, I know. This years Charlies Angels. This years Arlington Road. I doubt you'll find Elizabethtown on anybody else's Top Ten List , that's for sure. I don't care. I loved it. Nobody writes better dialog between men and women, and understands the human heart better than Cameron Crowe. The long scene between Orlando Bloom and Kirstin Dunst falling in love over the telephone was one of my favorite movie scenes all year. I loved the story of Orlando Bloom rediscovering and coming to term with his fathers roots after he had died. It made me think about my own relationship with my own father and it made me cry. Of course the soundtrack kicked ass and complemented the movie perfectly. I can't wait for the extended cut DVD. Critics be damned. I stand by review. 8) Cinderella Man. Give Sheriif Andy's little buddy major props because little Opie Cunningham consistantly turns out great movies year after year. If there was ever a movie made about how brutal life was during The Great Depression, then this is your movie. We have it so good, and to see how harrowing it was for folks back then, and how they came to overcome their obstacles is a required viewing history lesson for us living in such comfortable surroundings. America was holding out for a hero, and they found it in one, Jim Braddock. I'm not a huge fan of the sport of boxing, but I am a fan of what a man would do to provide for his family. A triumph of what the human spirit can do against insurmountable odds is what this one is all about. This movie delivered knock out performances (whoreishly cliche'd, I know) from Russell Crowe and Paul Giamatti. A tough movie to watch to be sure, but an important one that will surely stand the test of time. I felt like I'd gone 12 rounds in the ring myself after watching this one. 7) Syriana. Dense. Complex. Confusing. Shocking. Not easily explainable to the uniniated, but one of the most powerful movies I've seen about power, greed, corruption, and the loss of innocence that I've ever seen. Who do you root for? All I know is that I pray to God that the world is a safer place by the time Will has to register for Selective Service. I had a hard time going to sleep after watching Syriana. George Clooney owed me for making me suffer through Oceans 12 last year, and he delivered in spades this year now with Syriana and Good Night and Good Luck. 6) Enron--The Smartest Guys in the Room. If I didn't know better, I'd say that this documentary was really just a spoof on big business. Nobody can be that callous, mean spirited, and ruthless, can they? Clearly Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay are. Ken Lay has the spin machine proclaiming his innocence big time right now before his trial gets underway, but after watching this movie---it's fairly obvious he was in on the scam from the beginning. What amazes me most is how egotistical these guys were and how little regard Enron had for the law. This movie combined with Syriana would make a great double feature. My Dad liked to say that Richard Nixon didn't do anything that previous presidents hadn't done themselves. It's just that Nixon got caught. Enron and Nixon aren't that much different. I'm just glad Ken Lay doesn't have Johnnie Cochran defending him this time out. Man, I'd be pissed if he did. 5) Munich. We live in troubled times. Israel vs. Palestein. Serbians vs.The Kurds. Iraq vs. the World. North vs The South. Jessica vs. Nick. It's just gonna get worse I'm afraid, before it gets better. What I liked about this movie was how diverse, yet unified this band of terrorists were. Could you pick a more lopsided group of guys who have been assigned to hunt down and kill the Black Sunday terrorists who killed the Israeli atheletes at the '72 Olympics? Spielberg made them all too human. They are us. And what's really sad is how nonchalant these terrorists are when planning their attacks. You could be walking down the streets of London or Paris, or New York and be wiped out in an instant. Who needs Saw 2 or Freddie Kruger when we don't even know who the enemy is these days? The enemy is ourselves. Eric Bana was tour de force and deserves an Oscar for his heartbreaking performance. 4) Batman Begins. I was sicker than a dog when I saw this movie back in early July. I had only been home 2 days from our trip to Peru and I had cabin fever really bad. Not to mention a nasty case of the trots. But for me, Batman Begins was The Godfather 2 to the first Tim Burton Batman. In some ways it was even better than the first Tim Burton Batman movie. I'm a big Batman fan. I loved all incarnations of Batman from the campy TV show, to the Dark Knight in the comic books, and up to the third Batman movie. I like Batman because he doesn't have super powers like Superman, and he's haunted by the death of his parents. This movie was made for the fans like me. The gadgets and silliness of the previous films were kept to a minimum. The backstory on how he bacame Batman made perfect sense this time. The bad guys were really bad, and Batman was really smart on figuring out how their minds worked. He was CSI before their was CSI. For a well made, well acted, and entertaining thriller---this Batman got the job done. I really hope they don't screw up the next sequel. 3) Broken Flowers. A small Bill Murray movie with a big heart. Who wouldn't want to track down old girlfriends to see if he wasn't the father of some child who got lost on the road of life somewhere? Bill Murray's expression when he accidently sees Sharon Stone's Lolita like daughter was hands down the funniest thing I saw on screen this entire year. But it was more than just a coming of middle age comedy. Like Lost in Translation, it was full of melancholy and heartache, too. Of what might have been, and what could have been. And just so you don't fall into the murky abyss of morose, along comes Jeffrey Wright as Bill Murrays next door neighbor playing an inept Columbo wannabe. I loved this movie for the chords it struck in my own life. There are things that I've said and done in my past that I'd like to get a "do over" for. And if I can't do it over---let me at least try and explain where I went wrong. Bill Murray's character tried to do just that for me. Just like life---it was both funny and sad at the same time. Not only that, but it had the second best ending of any movie I'd seen this year. Advice to Bill Murray---Start channeling Carl from Caddyshack again soon, please. 2) Walk the Line. I didn't have high hopes for this one after hearing your review, but that's why we all have different opinions when it comes to the movies, right? Anybody that knows me knows that with the exception of her performance as Tracy Flick in Election---I can't stand Reese Witherspoon for some reason. Something about her just gets on my nerves big time. But I saw in her performance the reason Johnnie Cash was so miserable at that point in his life. She burns up the screen with this performance. Hell, even I'm now in love with her and I can't even stand her. I know little to nothing about the life of June Carter Cash, but after seeing Reese Witherspoon deal with Johnny Cash's unrequited love for her---her writing of Ring of Fire now makes perfect sense to me. Talk about your tormented love affair. I now understand why Johnny Cash had to heavily medicate himself to sleep every night. He's married with a nice wife and family, but he's not with June Carter. Being in love with someone you're not with is a bad thing. This is one of the best love stories with some of the best performances I've seen in a long, long, time. I'm beginning to now know what love just might be after all after watching this movie. It can be a pain-in-the ass if you married the wrong person. Best rock and roll movie since Almost Famous. They got it right with this one. Like I'm any kind of expert. But I am opinionated. 1) The Layer Cake. We've gone over this movie all year, so we both knew where it was coming in on my list. I just got the DVD for Christmas, and I'm going to go watch it after I finish this e-mail. Hilarious. Cool, Scary. Thrilling. But most of all, intelligent. And did I mention the dizzying cinemaphotography? Man, I really loved this movie. A grown up story that doesn't dumb down for the masses. The best movie ending--period. Why this movie didn't find a bigger audience here is beyond me. Crime actually pays pretty well, if you know what you're doing and can actually trust the people you work with. Welcome to the Layer Cake, my son indeed. Bummer about there not gonna be doing a sequel to it. Sienna Miller. What a babe. Daniel Craig will be James Bond old school and I can hardly wait for that. Other highlights in the world of television in 2005: Best New TV Show: The Office Best New Reality Show: Breaking Bonaduce Best Reason to Subscribe to HBO: Entourage Only Reason to Bother Subscribing to Showtime: Penn and Teller's Bull$%@t Best TV show to keep your band from eventually circling the drain: Rock Star INXS Best Weekly Train Wreck: Hooking Up Best Show I Wish Hadn't Been Cancelled, but it's Probably for the Best Now That I Think About It: The Comeback on HBO Best Comedy Duo: Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul Best Reason's To Turn Off the Idiot Box and Read a Good Book Instead: Conversations with Tom Petty Busting Vegas by Ben Mizrich The Greedy Bastard Diary by Eric Idle Slim to None by Dan Jenkins Our American History by Jon Stewart (maybe I should get out and read more) Best Live Performances City of Blinding Lights--U2 @ the Toyota Center Live and Let Die--Paul McCartney @ the Toyota Center Wish I was Born in Beverly Hills--Alice Cooper @ The Hard Rock's Joint in Las Vegas I'll Be There for You--Bon Jovi @ the MCI Center in Washington DC Miss Independent--Kelly Clarkson-Verizon Theatre Sympathy for the Devil---The Rolling Stones @ The Toyota Center Blue Man Group---Luxor Theatre--Las Vegas Best New Music of 2005 Lisa Marie Presley---Shine & When You Go Bon Jovi---Last Man Standing & I Want to be Loved Howie Day---Collide Bruce Springsteen---All the Way Home Jordis Unga---The Man Who Sold the World INXS---Pretty Vegas Keith Urban-You'll Think of Me Kelly Clarkson---Since You've Been Gone & Walk Away Lifehouse---You and Me Martina McBride---I Still Miss Someone Peter Wolf---Nothing But the Wheel Rob Thomas---This is How a Heart Breaks & Ever the Same Motley Crue---If I Die Tomorrow (damn---was that on my list, last year??) 3 Doors Down---Let Me Go U2---City of Blinding Lights & All Because of You ( I know it came out in '04, but I didn't start really listening to it until early this year) Alice Cooper---Sunset Babies (All Got Rabies) & Dirty Diamonds (sorry---I just got carried away there. Nobody cares about what music I liked last year) Best Thing the Texans Did All Year: Lost to San Francisco yesterday Best Thing the Astros Did All Year: Didn't Mourn the Loss of Carlos Beltran Best Dining Expierence of 2005 Alize @ the top of the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas Runner Up---Victory Lunch @ Margaritaville in Las Vegas Best Reason to Get Up in the Morning: Howard Stern Best Reason to End This E-Mail-- My Worst of 2005 List is Coming Soon..... Michael Mackin wrote: Greetings from the aisle. I am rushing to get this list in before my train leaves for Seattle. I regret not seeing King Kong in time for this year's list. I feel certain that the big ape would have made the cut. #10: Grizzly Man The only documentary to make the cut this year, which is somewhat unusual for me. I did not see the wheelchair rugby documentary -- supposedly excellent. Just couldn't go there and from the looks of the box office, I'm not the only one. But that should not determine a film's merit. Maybe I will nut it up and see it on DVD. But I did get to Grizzly Man and cannot recommend it more strongly. It's sort of a Waiting for Guffman meets Marlan Perkin's Mutual of Omaha with a grizzly death thrown in for good measure. In other words, it can't possibly miss. A strange man, this Grizzly Man. After spending an hour with him you begin rooting for the bears. I'm not sure if Werner Herzog is pulling our leg a bit in this movie or not. The people are so strange it almost comes off as a mockumentary except the fatal consequences give the entire enterprise an air of gravitas. #9 Brodre (Brothers) Nobody does dark like the Danes. In the tradition of Lars Von Trier, this piece of darkness is actually by a women director and it is pretty devastating and also remarkable. A Danish soldier leaves for Afghanistan to fight and leaves his ner do well brother behind. The soldier is presumed killed and the ner do well brother rises to the occasion and begins to take care of his brother's family. But, lo, the soldier is not really dead and when he returns it makes for all kinds of nastiness. Just a great examination of family and death and responsibility and the lingering effects of fighting in a war. Very much like those 70's Vietnam movies like Coming Home and Deer Hunter. Not exactly easy to watch but quietly devastating. #8 Capote Philip Seymore Hoffman nails it and turns in a completely and utterly fascinating portrayal of this complicated and brilliant man. I've said before and I'll say it again, I think Hoffman's performance is actually better than the movie, but the movie is still damn good. The actor who played Perry was also excellent as was the actress who played Harper Lee. The recreation of the period was spot on. #7 The Constant Gardener Somewhat of a left leaning film and a little more obvious about that than it should be. Nevertheless, this is one for the Ludlum crowd with breathtaking cinematography. Some of the best photography and editing and use of landscape (African) that I have ever seen in a movie. Ralph Fienes is excellent and the love story, particularly the ending is something that will really stick with you. #6 My Summer of Love This is "The Swimming Pool" of this year's foreign film entries. But it is British and therefor no subtitles so don't let that stop you. A beautiful coming of age movie about two young girls who are discovering their sexuality, mostly with each other. Do I have you attention now? I thought so. Also an examination of class and fundamentalist religion, as one of the girl's brother is a born again who's none to happy to see his sister canoodling with another women. Fireworks ensue, often in unexpected ways. #5 Junebug Criminally overlooked movie about a southern family trying to accept the return of the prodigal son with his fiance. I know this theme has been worked to death, but Junebug really stands out. Sweet Home Alabama this ain't. It is very much in the tradition of Alexander Payne in that it sees the absurdity of the family but it also sees beyond that into its soul. Great family characters and performances. #4 Syriana An amazing piece of work that captures the contemporary fucked up milieu better than I could imagine possible. No one is to blame. We are all to blame. The markets are a complicated thing. Maybe it's better not to see how our sausage is made. No blood for oil -- it's not that simple, is it? On the other hand, are not all our hands dirty? How power is used in the global fight over natural resources. Devastatingly perfect ending. #3 Comme une Image (Look at Me) A French movie that has earned its way near the top of my list. Outstanding screenplay that contains many brilliant examples of the way people respond to superficial aspects of others, the way two people can see the same situation completely differently, the way it is so easy to misinterpret the intentions of others, and the way we are almost destined to exploit other people for our own ends. There is much commentary on the way society judges women on their appearance, and how "interesting" attractive or successful people can appear to be. #2 The Layer Cake Welcome to the Layer Cake, son. Was there a more surprising and entertaining movie this year? I think not. What a ride. This is the kind of movie that reminds me of why I still go to the movies -- to be surprised and delighted by the unexpected. Which, I might add, is becoming increasingly hard to find in a world of remakes and sequels. Daniel Craig shines again, almost outdoing his performance in The Mother. The supporting cast of Scotts and Brits were all suitably gangsterish in interesting ways. The ending was perfect, I don't care what your friend thinks. This movie is finding its audience on DVD and we both called it early. We knew. #1 Munich Much as it pains me to give top props to Mr. Speilberg, whose sentimentality in past movies has turned my stomach, I must award him my top prize this year. No one can accuse Munich of being sentimental. I daresay some of the scenes will haunt me for some time to come. I think this was a movie of an outstanding craftsman at the very top of his form. The subject matter Matters and I think that is probably one of the reasons Spielberg was drawn to this project. 9-11 echoes throughout the movie with its themes of vengeance, retribution, and sacrifice. But it also worked as a damn fine thriller, where even though you know what happens, you really don't know how it is going to happen and are kept on the edge of your seat for most of a long running time. Excellent performances from the ensemble cast. Had to give this a lot of though, but I think Munich deserves its top spot. There were many very good movies this year but few great ones and I think Munich comes about as close to great as any I've seen this year. Mac Honorable mentions: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang; Pride and Predjudice; Downfall; Happy Endings; Enron, The Smartest Guys in the Room; Me, You, and Everyone We Know. Dave's Bottom TEN I love all the abuse I get when I send out my "Best of" movie list. People are always saying to me..."Where's Capote?" "Where's King Kong?" "Where's The Aristocrats?" Where's Domino?" Domino and Capote were close calls for me for sure. You could probably replace Capote with The Wedding Crashers and The 40 Year Old Virgin, but Capote didn't offer up nearly as many laughs as one scream of "Kelly Clarkson!" did from the waxing scene of The 40 Year Old Virgin. I'll say this to those people who disagree with best of 2005 movie list---send me your own list and then we'll talk about it. Until then---lighten up and watch the movie for your own self. I can't help it if you can't understand the thick cockney accents in The Layer Cake. It's not exactly Cheaper By the Dozen 2, you know. With absolutely no pleasure at all I present the most painful times I spent watching at the movies this year: I think the greasy stale popcorn, and flat Dr. Peppers were more enjoyable than any of these movies. 10) Hide and Seek. Robert DeNiro tortures litle Dakotah Fanning. Actually not a bad idea when you think about it. That kid is really starting to grate on my nerves. She is really starting to creep me out. She damn near kept me away from watching The War of the Worlds this year, too. All I can say about Hide and Seek was that it was obviously a nice paycheck that Bobby D must have agreed to. Otherwise nobody would have ever made it. I'm sorry I took my Dad to see that one, but I'm pretty sure his hearing aid was on the fritz that day. Good thing, or he woulda further disowned me even more than he already has. He thinks the actors all like to mumble. I say no, they all just like to make crappy movies is all. 9) The Interpreter. Nicole Kidman as a hot looking interpreter who may or may not have the goods on a corrupt South African Dictator? Boring. And little or no chemistry between her and Sean Penn. In defense of Nicole Kidman, how could she posibly find Sean Penn attractive, anyway? That boy always seems to have a chip on his shoulder about something, doesn't he? Just take your little motor boat and your shotgun out and go save somebody from drowning, will ya, Sean? Enough said. Average work from both actors with an average script wih a less than average storyline. Yawn. Should have gone straight to video. 8) Must Love Dogs. Anybody that knows me,knows that I am IN LOVE with Diane Lane. There is just something about her that I find very appealing. Hotter than Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore combined. And if Brad Pitt had married Diane Lane instead of Rachel, there'd be no trips to Ethiopia to adopt babies. I guarentee you that. And yet a lot of Ms. Lanes' movies are just a notch or 2 above mediocre. She couldn't save this dog of a chick flick. And don't say I don't enjoy the odd chick flick or 2. Look where I rated both Elizabethtown and Broken Flowers this year. Gimme something better than this 3rd rate movie of the week material. I even apologized to Betsy for taking her to see this howler. Oh yeah---Elizabeth Perkins was really annoying in this movie, too. John Cusack? He played this sad sack boatmaker. No wonder he had trouble with women. He mopes around too much. Weak. 7) The Pacifier/Are We There Yet/Yours Mine and Ours/Cheaper By The Dozen 2 They're all the same wretched kids movie. I can't wait til Will's old enough to sit down with me and watch The Godfather. Hopefully he'll forgive me for taking him to see this years crop of crap. Oh well. At least I got nice naps in during most of them. Nothing wrong with that! 6) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Oooo. I'm so scared. I'm taking on a sacred franchise and a beloved movie. Once again, I'll be the first person to say that I really enjoyed the first 3 Harry Potter movies. They're all 3 great stories that I believe will hold up over time and continue to entertain kids and families for many more generations. I also realize that the books are actually much better than these movies. What I really enjoyed about the first 3 Harry Potter movies was the relationship between the 3 main kids. This time out, the relationships were really strained and they gave way to letting all those annoying special effects take over. This movie gave me a headache. It was the first Harry Potter movie that I felt was rushed in order to get it into the theatres on time. My guess is the filmakers had so much ground to cover as the book was so thick, they just decided to throw everything and the kitchen sink in and hoped that the audiences wouldn't notice. I noticed it was bad, and I hope they get back to the special relationships that worked so well in the first 3 movies. I know the 3 kids are surly teenagers now, but even teenagers have more believable relationships than this piece of money hackwork does. You know how else I know this is a bad movie? Betsy saw the first 3 movies 3 or 4 times each in the movie theatre. She's only watched this one once. Case closed.Scoreboard me. It's just not that great of a movie. I call it the dark an unhappy Harry Potter. All I can say Harry is I hope you find Scooby and Shaggy next time and lighten up a bit. And Harry...pay closer attention to that Hermoine chick. She's really blossoming into a babe. Don' blow it like Weasely obviously did. That boy ain't right. 5) Sahara All I really remember about this piece of fluff was that Penolope Cruz played a Dr. Bwaaaahhh Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, right. 4th rate Indiana Jones knockoff. Highly forgettable. And I personally, though I have no beef with Mathew McCougneghy.... But his awww shucks, good old boy schtick is getting pretty old, fast. If he doesn't watch out, he might end up being the next Patrick Swayze or something. Sahara is one of those crummy movies that always sem to be playing when you're flying across country and you forgot to pick up something good to read at the airport news stand. What are you gonna do? Either read the inflight magazine or watch the movie. My advice is watch the movie, and listen to one of the music channels instead. You won't miss a thing watching Sahara, I promise. 4) King Kong I wasn't really sure where I was gonna stick this movie. It actually has some pretty cool scenes in it that I'd recommend those who haven't seen the movie yet, watch for themselves. But this is one heavy duty, over the top, end all be all spectacle that has been way overhyped. Bloated in another accurate adjective to describe this movie. What's good is the way the movie looks and captures the early 30's scenery. The action scenes are non stop starting from the moment the boat lands on Skull Island. But what really killed it for me was the completely unbelieveable love story. Adrian Brody as a leading man? Gimme a break. He's as wooden as the plank he should have ben forced to walk on. Naomi Watts was OK until she started going ga-ga over Kong. There's this scene in Central Park where Kong and Naomi go sliding over the frozen ice that had me in stitches, it was so painfully bad. Anybody that thought they were watching a love story between Kong and Naomi were just being poorly manipulated by Peter Jackson's bloated excess. That was as forced a love story as I've ever seen. Kong shoulda eaten her the minute she started her little vaudeville dance. This would have been a great movie at under 2 hours. But when you're given carte blanche to just go nuts---this is what happens. For me---this is my pick this year for Emperors New Clothes. And me and Will were really hoping for Kong to destroy more stuff, too. 3) Upside of Anger. Kevin Costner playing a drunk, washed up baseball player. What an original idea. He's never played a ball player in the movies before has he? Joan Allen plays this bitter, drunk woman who thinks her husband of 25 + years ran off with his slutty secretary. You know what happened? The dude died falling into a hole in the woods behind her house. If my brief movie review saves just one person out there from watching this garbage, then I'll feel I've earned my keep by spoiling the ending for you. These are ugly, unhappy, morose people that belong on Days of Our Lives instead of at the local megaplex. I got sucked in because all the reviewers kept heaping praise on Joan Allen's Oscar caliber performance. Do you really want to watch her bitch and moan about her miserable life for 90 minutes? I wish I hadn't. One word to describe this movie: HOOOOOORRRRRRIIIIBBBBLLLEEE! 2) The Longest Yard. Burt Reynolds was the man when this movie first came out in the mid 70's. This was a great story about a man redeeming himself against a ruthless prison warden, and giving pride back to a bunch of misfit inmates. It worked for me back then. It didn't work at all for me now. This movie was about as bankrupt as Hollywood can get when trying to remake a movie that certainly didn't need remaking. Adam Sandler as a former hot shot quarterback? Puhleeease. Talk about being sadly miscast. This movie was sorely lacking what the first movie had, and that was heart. And a sense of humor. And believable (not cartoon) characters. If Hollywood insists on remaking movies---I got some advice for them. Remake Titanic. Instead of making us suffer through the first hour and a half...ram the damn iceberg right up front. In fact it woulda been hilarious if they'd hit that iceberg right as Leo DeCrapio screamed "I'm the King of the World!" Kablooie! There's your movie. If you're gonna remake King Kong, have him kill the Fay Wray/Naomi Watts character the minute the natives put her up to be sacrificed. That way it's somewhat believable. Hollywood obviously believes that we too all live in La-La land like they do. The Longest Yard insulted me big time.Gimme back my money! Drumroll please. The absolute worst movie of 2005 was: 1) The March of the Penguins. This had to be the dullest documentary ever made about some of the dopiest birds I've ever seen. Here I walked in thinking we might see a CUTE LITTLE HEARTWARMING movie about those evil cartoon type penguins like I saw in Madagascar.( I wish. I loved those penguins) Or maybe a behind the scenes look at how Burgess Meredith got along on the Batman TV show. But nooooooooo. We got 90 dull minutes about some boring birds that we as human beings are suppose to feel a bit of compassion for. This was one 90 minite movie that actually felt a lot longer than the 3 hour King Kong bloat fest. wERE THEY GONNA GIVE US A TEST AT THE END OF THIS MOVIE SO WE'LL KNOW AND APPRECIATE THE PLIGHT OF THE PENGUIN? If you wanna see some real life penguins in action, drive down to Moody Gardens in Galveston one weekend. Try and spend more than 15 minutes in front of the penguin habitat. I swear to God after 15 minutes of watching these birds waddle around, you'll be hoping for a Great White to sneak up upon one and wrestle them into a bloody pulp. To all the people out there that hyped this documenatry as one of the greatest documentaries of all time. Please get a life! Put this kinda crap on Animal Planet or the Discovery Channel where it belongs. That way I can turn it off when I get bored. As Roger Daltrey once said, and I quote: "I won't get fooled again." Please, for the love of God, don't rent or watch this movie when it shows up on cable. It's really that bad. Trust me. And yes, I actually slept for about 30 minutes during this movie, and when I woke up, I hadn't felt like I had missed a damn thing. There. Does that now convince you how bad that movie really is? Avoid like the plague. You'll thank me later, I swear. Just say "no" to the marching penguins. Besides Hurricanes Rita and Katrina screwing up our Fall this year...heres' what else I hated in 2005. Have any of you seen anything weirder than all of us trying to evacuate Houston when Rita was churning it's way towards Galveston as a category 5 storm? That goes down in the Melbourne History book as a weekend I'd just as soon forget. In television---I hated the second season of Desperate Housewives. Talk about Jumping the Shark. I watched 2 episodes and figured out they shoulda quit last year when they were ahead. That didn't take long to wear out it's welcome, did it? I also hated the 3rd season of that Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie show whatever it was called. The first 2 seasons I thought were pretty funny. It had run it's course by season 3. No wonder they hate each other now. It's because we all hate them all now so much.Is there any possible way for those 2 to somehow become lost at sea or drafted to fight on the front lines on the streets of Bagdad? Please go away Paris. And Nicole. And Jessica and Nick And Britney and K-Fed. And Bradgelina. And Tom and Katie...And Oprah and Dr. Phil. And the Donald and Martha Stewart. Please go away. As far as live entertainment in 2005---Neil Diamond @ the Toyota Center was a real snoozer, and David Spade @ the Mirage in Las Vegas was a huge disappointment for me also. David Spade should stick to trashing shallow Hollywood celebrities. Not telling weak jokes about his annoying girlfriends that won't go home after they've made love. That's really stale, David. Buh-bye. As I get older, I've become far more selective in who I will pay the big bucks to see. Right now I see Motley Crue as a possible frontrunner in the 2006 worst of category. We'll see. If they blow up the right amount of stuff and have lots of scantilly clad women running around, I might be a little less harsh. Who knows? But if all Vince Neil does is swear at the audience that night, I'm gonna hate myself for buying a ticket. You know what else was awful in 2005? AM talk radio. With the exception of Howard Stern, Jim Rome and Dan (ESPN) Patrick, was there anybody out there consistantly worthwhile listening to? Dan Patrick on AM-700 is by far the worst. Thank God he decided to run for office this year so now no one will have to listen to him defend Tom Delay and Ed Young. Chris Baker was funny for awhile and then he quit doing pop culture and lost his traffic foil, Natalie. My advice to Chris Baker this year is to stick to pop culture stories and ditch the politics, dude. . Michael Savage and Rush Limbaugh have run so far out of gas, it's not even fuuny. The funny thing is they're both so full of hot gas, and they both actually use to be pretty funny in their day. And on the FM side, did we really need Walter and Johnson to make a comeback? Jesus, I thought we got rid of them for good the first time 101 went under. My Sirius radio is sounding better and better every day. My favorite commercial playing these days on the radio is the ad where the announcer is about to announce some big time major league ballplayer that has tested positive for steroids or the announcer is about to "out" some major actor as gay and then the operator comes on just at the last second and says 'Please deposit 25 cents for the next 3 minutes." (meaning you miss hearing who the athelete or actor is because you gotta pay for radio) And then the voiceover says something like "Radio. It's free. You shouldn't have to pay for it. That's hilarious because we all know how crappy radio is in Houston these days. I wouldn't be paying for radio with Sirius if free radio here didn't suck so badly. And then later on I hear ads for XM (another pay radio service) on these very radio stations that just told me that radio should be free! Now that's pretty funny! Can you say "hypocrites"? Here's hoping that free radio gets a wake up call in 2006 and finallly gets it act together. I heard Alice Cooper was signing autographs in the XM Satellite booth last week during the CES show in Vegas. Damn. Now I gotta get me an XM satellite receiver, too. the good thing outta all this is that I've ditched talk radio in favor of listening to music again. Nothing wrong with that! See you here next year. The Bloviator is over and out!